


searching

by trashiestnerdlord



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: M/M, Multi, Soulmate AU, but it's long and i like how it came out so im posting it, colorblind au, i don't really even ship billdip anymore, this is really old tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-08-30 17:24:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8542147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trashiestnerdlord/pseuds/trashiestnerdlord
Summary: "They say that long ago, souls were just energies that roamed the earth, appearing as nothing more than colorful clouds that stuck close to the ground. When life was created, almost every soul was torn in two, leaving them limp and grey. Very few souls were kept in one piece, still as colorful as the day the soul was created. Some were split into three, or even more pieces. Thus, life was given. The split in souls left the occupying body without the ability to see any colours beyond shades of grey. But when the souls found each other, the color would return to their vision, as the halves of a whole would again be reunited, no matter how short lived. When a person dies, the soul is scattered to find and occupy a new body, thus the cycle starts anew.
However, there are a few special cases. Angels and demons were created at the same time as any other life, but a few still only have half a soul in them. In this case, their soulmate tends to be anther angel or demon, and they are forever reunited, never forced to take part in the never ending cycle. Still, a few have been cursed to share a soul with a mortal being."





	

**Author's Note:**

> this is so old but it's the longest thing i've written in, like, three years, so i'm going to post it because it's finished and i think it's cute, even though i don't really ship billdip anymore.
> 
> this is the au where your colorblind until you and your soulmate make eye contact! except i modified it a bit to make it more fitting with bill.
> 
> hope you enjoy!

They say that long ago, souls were just energies that roamed the earth, appearing as nothing more than colorful clouds that stuck close to the ground. When life was created, almost every soul was torn in two, leaving them limp and grey. Very few souls were kept in one piece, still as colorful as the day the soul was created. Some were split into three, or even more pieces. Thus, life was given. The split in souls left the occupying body without the ability to see any colours beyond shades of grey. But when the souls found each other, the color would return to their vision, as the halves of a whole would again be reunited, no matter how short lived. When a person dies, the soul is scattered to find and occupy a new body, thus the cycle starts anew.

However, there are a few special cases. Angels and demons were created at the same time as any other life, but a few still only have half a soul in them. In this case, their soulmate tends to be anther angel or demon, and they are forever reunited, never forced to take part in the never ending cycle. Still, a few have been cursed to share a soul with a mortal being.

Bill Cipher was one of these. A demon of dreams, unable to see any form of color until he is reunited with the other half of his soul. He crafted his universe to be monotone because he found no point in making it colorful if he couldn't even see the colors. Bill never complained about his situation. What good would it do?

At first, Bill resented the other half of his soul (whom he called "Pine Tree" due to that being the symbol that represented the soul on his Demon Wheel), for he had nothing else to blame. He would sit and watch the lives of his soul, glaring and cursing and despising it from afar. He never dared approach, though, almost afraid of what he'd find and how he'd feel.

That changed one fateful day. Ten lives, Bill had watched. It never took Bill long to locate Pine Tree. He was a dream demon, and he had to keep tabs on as many people as he could, which made finding Pine Tree much easier for him. Bill had taken a liking to a certain piece of land that was mostly forest, with a huge cliff-wall surrounding half of it. Bill sensed a magic embedded in the place, a magic that could only be found in two other places in the world. But Bill liked this place the most (and no, not because Pine Tree's soul has a tendency to end up in the area, that would be a petty reason).

He had been wandering around in a mortal form he'd crafted not long ago that allowed him to walk and interact on the corporeal plane, for an amount of time. It was made after the two-legged primates that Pine Tree's soul always reincarnated into.

Bill was shocked that he hadn't sensed the presence of another being, and jumped in surprise when he got a small pap on his bare shoulder. He whipped around and at first was nearly blinded by the assault of colors that had bursted into his vision. His head swam as he took in shades of reds and greens and browns and yellows and oh it was fantastic.

He finally focused on the being in front of him, who he noticed seemed just as shocked by the sudden onslaught of color.

It was a boy. It was Pine Tree. He even had a poorly painted pine tree painted on his forehead, done in green paint that stood out against dark, tanned skin and amber eyes stared curiously at him from beneath a curtain of dark brown dreadlocks. He was beautiful.

Bill suddenly realized he could not hate Pine Tree. Could never hate the other half of him, the missing piece to his immortal life.

Every life Pine Tree lived, Bill would find a way to meet him. They would always end up together, romantically. No matter the life, no matter the gender, the ethnicity, the location, Bill always found his way to his Pine Tree. Only few lives had known his true occupation and form, and those were the harder ones. But in the end, Pine Tree fell for him.

Bill was happy, but at the same time, he wasn't. Watching Pine Tree die, over and over and over again. Watching the colors drain from his vision like the life from his love's eyes. Sometimes it was quick, a sudden loss of a color and a horrible pain in Bill's entire being. Sometimes it was slow. The color leaving little by little as Pine Tree's state weakened until he was relieved of the pain. Sometimes Bill was with Pine Tree. Watching the other half of him die and the color as well. Sometimes he wasn't. Either way, he felt the pain.

Living in his monotonous world, waiting to find his Pine Tree's next life was just as awful. While he got used to being color blind, the pain was always there. When he was with his Pine Tree, he was able to push it away, was able to be happy. But as soon as Pine Tree died, the pain would be back at full force. He desperately wished he could be with Pine Tree forever. Or better yet, he be mortal himself, to reincarnate with his sweet Pine Tree over and over, blissfully forgetful of the other until the two meet.

Bill was floating through the mindscape one day (what day, he didn't care to know), letting himself wander aimlessly. He was bored and his entire being ached with loss. How long had it been since Pine Tree's last life? How much longer until he reincarnated? Bill didn't know. He only knew how many lives there had been. Six hundred and seventeen. Six hundred and seventeen lives he's been with Pine Tree. Six hundred and seventeen times that his precious sapling had died, the feeling of Bill's soul being ripped apart as painful the six hundred and seventeenth time as it had been the first. It was as he was pondering this when he felt it.

A little tug, the telling sign that somewhere, out there, Pine Tree's soul had been reborn into a new vessel. Bill perked up immediately. He would never grow tired of the anticipation of seeing Pine Tree again, or the act of looking for the vessel. Bill got to work on searching through vessels. He'd figured out a process on finding his soulmate. Instead of scanning each individual's soul until he found his other half, the dream demon would instead search for the newest life forms, finding the thoughts and dreams of infant children. He was lucky Pine Tree's soul had found its own region to reincarnate into, as Bill new most souls scattered randomly across the world, hardly ever being reborn in the same area twice.

Bill searched Oregon quickly, when he found nothing, he moved on to Washington, still finding nothing. He moved on to California, and found Pine Tree's soul near immediately. Bill felt anticipation build as he observed Pine Tree's new vessel. The burst of color was another thing Bill would never tire of. He stared down at the infant, observing him and taking in the colors of his soulmate. A boy, light skinned, with large brown eyes and curls of brown hair. Bill observed another child with Pine Tree, the two sharing a crib in the hospital. Bill would have smiled if he could have. Shooting Star. Shooting Star was a reuccuring companion to Pine Tree's soul. The two were either always siblings or became very close friends.

Bill new the two were twins, their hair and eyes matching near perfectly. Both were plump, and babbled quietly to one another instead of sleeping as the other infants were doing. Bill turned at the sound of a door opening (he took notice of how everything about the place was an annoying and bright white) to see two more vessels walk in. The parents, if the brown eyes and hair were anything to go by. The demon found the twins resembled the mother, with her soft curls and round face, much more than the father who had short shorn hair and a sharp look to him.

Bill followed the family as they left the hospital, but he was paying more attention to the surroundings, taking in the world outside now that he had color. He was taking advantage of it, knowing the color would fade as he waited for his Pine Tree's vessel to grow up.

Bill kept an eye on PIne Tree's life, as he normally did. Pine Tree's name was 'Odin', Shooting Star's being 'Mabel'. Bill had watched as Pine Tree was bullied over something on his forehead (Bill hadn't seen it when he had first looked at him), and it was too late to try and catch a glimpse because the boy had arranged his bangs over his forehead, successfully hiding whatever was there, from then on. Bill also noticed that he started to refer to himself as 'Dipper', and everyone else did as well. The dream demon didn't know the reason behind it, but he found that Dipper was a much more fitting name for the boy.

Dipper's life wasn't as good as his twin's, Bill had decided. The girl was a naturally social person, who was creative and skilled with her hands, and almost everything else. Everybody loved her the moment they met her. And she loved almost every body as well. Dipper, on the other hand, was socially awkward. Bill couldn't even find the boy's struggle around people amusing. His interests lingered in the fantastical and mystery, which scared other children away. He got riled up easily, and was too scared of violence and getting hurt to do anything against the bullies that constantly assulted him. As a child, Dipper could only cry, which prompted the bullies on even further. Bill was grateful of the twins' bond. Mabel loved her brother above all else, and had sacrificed friendships to protect her brother.

Bill noticed that Dipper did the exact same thing, however, except to a larger extent. Dipper would willingly give himself D's and F's on assignments and tests in school in order to help his sister with whatever she needed help with. And Bill knew how much Dipper cared about school. He would hide injuries from bullies (if Mabel hadn't been around to save Dipper from them) to save her from worrying or fretting about him. He saw what Mabel didn't. Bill would watch, helpless, as Dipper would come home with a failed report card and would sob to himself in his room. And when Dipper would sneak medical supplies so he could tend to his injuries in his room. Sometimes, he wouldn't even do that. He would leave cuts and bruises to fester, too caught up in catching up on homework or studying to tend to himself.

Bill was beyond upset that he could not do anything about his soulmate. Dipper was only twelve, too young to be dealing with this kind of stuff. The dream demon hated how he was bound to the place he had chosen, Gravity Falls it was called now. He knew what he was getting himself into with choosing an area to stay. Demons weren't supposed to do that, and he payed the price. Being physically bound to the town. Bill could go wherever he wanted in the world in his demon form, but he could never enter anyone's minds, nor could he manifest a mortal form anywhere beyond the barrier.

Bill hung on to the hope that Pine Tree would end up in Gravity Falls, one way or another. He normally did. And his hoping was not in vain. On the summer of their first year in middle school, two months before the twins' birthday, they got bused over to the small town of Gravity Falls.

And Bill was beyond elated. He was overjoyed, and whooped around in joy. The dream demon could hardly contain himself as he quickly whipped up a modern enough thirteen-year-old form and shifting into it.

The world was still monotone, with the faintest of hints of color. But Bill still felt great. He actually rather liked being on the corporal plane. He took a deep breath of the fresh forest air, and listened to the sound of leaves rustling, and animals moving and living their lives. The feeling of moist dirt under his bare feet. He picked an outfit that fit him well, a white dress shirt under a bright yellow sweater vest that mimicked the eye of his demon form, along with a pair of rolled up, black slacks. Bill induldged in a bowtie and cheesy earings shaped as small top hats. His hair was blonde, and messy, and he had a triangle shaped eye patch.

He almost felt as though this form was predictable of him. But he didn't care much.

Bill's powers were weaker in this form of course, but he was still able to sense Pine Tree's presence. Bill knew he would have to be patient. Their meeting had to be special. It always had to be special. Still, the teen followed his soulmate's presence as quickly as possible, navigating the familiar forest until he came upon the Mystery Shack.

The Mystery Shack was a place Bill tended to avoid. Stanford Pines was not a man Bill particularily liked (the word 'hate' came to mind), as his brother had been the most recent of Bill's. . . customers. He had turned on the man, not liking the intruding questions and suspicious air. So Bill had pushed him through the portal he was so fond of, and promptly destroyed it, preventing the other from returning. Stanford had not been amused by this at all, going so far as to bind Bill to the forest, rather than him just being bound to the entirety of Gravity Falls itself. Bill couldn't leave the forest, and often forgot this fact. What use did he have wandering around town in his mortal form? It'd only draw suspicion and raise questions Bill didn't want. But that had been after Pine Tree's last life, so Bill had never really thought about when Pine Tree would actually get to Gravity Falls.

Bill couldn't leave the forest. The realization was sudden and he suddenly hated Stan Pines for taking away his chance to meet Dipper in person.

Seething silently, Bill watched from the treeline as Dipper and Mabel climbed from the bus, and were promptly greeted by Stan Pines himself. This didn't seem like a tourist visit at all, as Mabel hugged Stan, who seemed a bit confused by the contact, and Dipper stood aside with his and his twin's luggage.

"Hey, kiddos," Stan said a bit awkwardly when Mabel pulled from the hug. "I'm Stan Pines, though you probably already know that."

"We do!" Mabel comfirmed with a smile on her face. "My name's Mabel and this here is Dipper!"

"It's. . . uh, nice to finally meet you two," Stan replied gruffly, scratching the back of his neck.

"Wait, what exactly are you to us?" Dipper asked suspiciously, his voice cracking, as it had been doing lately.

"I'm your great uncle, on your father's side," Stan explained.

Wait. What.

"Great uncle is too long," Mabel complained a bit. She perked up again, looking excitedly at Stan. "I'll call you Grunkle! Grunkle Stan!"

Whatever Dipper or Stan said in response to that was lost on Bill. He stumbled back a bit, leaning against a tree as he composed himself.

What was Dipper's last name? Dipper Piedmont? Dipper Peel? Dipper. . . Dipper Pines?

Bill vaguely remembered people saying the name Pines. How had Bill not realized sooner? Dipper was related to the very man who baned his existence even further. He. . . didn't know how he was supposed to feel. Angry? Sad? Upset?

No. No, he wouldn't put Stan's actions onto Pine Tree. Dipper had no part in either Stans' actions towards Bill. The dream demon kept his emotions in check, straigtening himself and taking a deep breath. Bill was going to give Pine Tree a chance. He always did.

And so he watched, and waited. Three days into the twins' vacation, Dipper was sent out into the forest to do some chore for Stan. It was the perfect opportunity. He was alone, and wandering in the forest. Bill followed the boy silently, listening to his angry mutters and watching him hammer up a few signs advertising for the Shack. As Dipper came up to a clearing with a particularily large tree, Bill decided it was time.

He walzted forwards, out into the clearing behind the boy, who was gearing up to hammer into the tree.

"I wouldn't hammer that tree, if I were you," Bill said cheerfully. He felt a bit bad as he saw that he had startled the boy, who yelped, dropping everything he had and jumping back, stumbling over a root and falling back.

Bill cried out, rushing over to help the boy.

"I'm sorry if I scared you, I-" He was cut off as he met the boy's eyes and color literally _exploded_ in his vision. He was left speechless as he stared down at the boy, whose eyes were the prettiest shade of brown Bill had ever scene, and his skin was flushed a lovely pink, and hair was shining bronze in the sun light. The forest around was an amazing combination of yellows, and greens and browns, with even purple and reds splashed in.

Bill watched Dipper's eyes widen as he, too, was greeted with the onslaught of color. The younger was too absorbed in everything he was seeing, Bill knew he hadn't processed what the colors meant yet.

"Oh my god," Dipper murmured, his eyes big and wandering. When they settled on Bill again, he froze. The demon felt Dipper's eyes rove over his body, taking in the colors of the stranger before him.

Bill watched the wonder and amazement in Dipper's eyes, watching his face closely. He saw the exact moment the realization clicked. Brown eyes doing wide, mouth slacked open, his entire being tensing up.

"You- You're. . . We're. . . s-soulmates."

Bill nodded, crouching down so he was eye level with the other.

"It appears so, Pine Tree," Bill responded, still a bit shell shocked about how vibrant the colors were. They honestly had never been so. . . powerful was the only word he had for it. This vessel was different. Bill put on a smirk. "What a relief; I thought I was going to get stuck with someone ugly, thank goodness it was someone as cute as you."

Bill felt rather proud of himself at the blush the crept along Pine Tree's cheeks. The boy tried to stutter out a reply, but Bill was standing up and offering a hand to the boy. Dipper took his hand, and Bill nearly laughed out at the contact. It was electifying and felt so right. He helped Dipper stand. The blonde took his hand away, only to offer it again.

"Allow me to introduce myself! My name's Bill!" Under different circumstances, Bill would've given his full name, but he couldn't risk Dipper talking about him around Stan.

"I'm Dipper," The boy responded, taking Bill's hand and shaking it.

Bill smiled widely. Dipper was already moving up in the list of his favorites of Pine Tree's vessels (was it sick that he had favorites in the first place?). The boy averted his eyes, a shy smile on his own face.

"Why is your name Dipper?" The teen immediately regretted asking that. He knew it was personal and Dipper probably was uncomfortable with answering that kind of question for someone he just met. "I-I mean you don't have to answer that if you don't want to."

Dipper frowned at the question. Bill could see he was mulling it over before shaking his head. "I would rather wait until I know you better, you know?"

Bill nodded and internally scolded himself for making things awkward in the first five minutes of them meeting. This was a new record for him. He sighed, scratching the back of his head nervously. Dipper coughed, looking everywhere but the teen in front of him.

"So. . . soulmates." Dipper murmured, and Bill knew this was a feeble attempt to break the silence.

"Yeah, that's us." Was all Bill said. He was no better at conversation starters.

"Is it normally this awkward to meet your soulmate?"

"No." Bill knew from experience. Normally, he and Pine Tree would just. . . click. Like they were meant to be (and they were).

"Oh." Bill watched as Dipper's face slightly contorted in thought. "Should we. . . just start as friends?"

"That would probably be the wiser route." There had been lives when they had made love on the first night, times when it was love at first sight. But those had been rare.

"What do we do? I've never had to make a friend." Bill could almost hear Dipper's unspoken words of _'I've never had a friend_ '.

"I think we should start off by talking. So we can get comfortable around each other?" Bill offered a small smile that Dipper reluctantly returned.

The two chose to sit against a very large tree a little bit away from the clearing (the walk there had been painfully quiet), with a large root seperating their bodies. Bill longed to be next to the boy, to hold his hand, or hug him or-

No, he'd think about this later.

"So," Bill began.

"What should we talk about?" Dipper asked.

Bill shrugged, responding, "Anything, I guess."

Dipper nodded and it grew quiet once more. Surprisingly, Dipper broke the silence.

"I. . . never thought I had a soul mate," Dipper started. Bill looked up, a bit surprised.

"Why? Weren't you colorblind?"

"I was, I just. . . I never thought someone other than my family could love me. Even now, I'm kind of unsure if we'll even. . . work. What if I'm not who you want? What if I'm not good enough?"

Bill was not only upset over how sad Pine Tree's presence felt, but he was a bit surprised Dipper would tell him something like this. Pine Tree's soul was probably comfortable with Bill's own that it affected Dipper's suspicious nature towards strangers.

"I'm sure I will grow to love you. I mean, you're cute and you seem like a pretty good person." Bill said, reaching out and pulling the bill of Pine Tree's brown hat over his eyes.

The boy pulled up his hat, annoyance quickly fading as the teen's words processed in his mind. He looked at Bill with those beautiful brown eyes, and Bill panicked when he saw tears welling in them. Sitting up quickly, Bill was about to apologize when he was suddenly pulled into a hug. He felt Dipper dig his face into Bill's shoulder, which was begining to feel a bit damp. Bill hugged the boy back, unsure of what else he was to do.

"Thank you. No one's every said anything like that to me ouside of my family." Dipper muttered, voice a bit hoarse.

"I meant what I said, Pine Tree," Bill smiled, burying his nose in those soft locks. "I think we're going to be pretty good soul mates."

"So do I."

**Author's Note:**

> i don't think i'll write any more for this but who knows? if people want more, i might do a chapter two where dipper's older or somefin. ://


End file.
